To that dishonest man who is an exception to my distrust.
Life once asked whether or not I wanted to jump off a cliff. As a response, I asked her where I would land. She just shrugged, implying that she, of course, could not reveal.
Usually, whenever Life offers such questions– those that possess too much uncertainty- I would hand her a firm and direct ‘no’. After all, who wants to risk being grappled by a terrifying unknown? Well, there may be some daredevils who would enlist themselves, but clearly, I am not one of them.
But for a reason that dimly lit inside my always-frightened head, I managed to say yes to Life; I jumped.
You see, Life herself is an uncertain creature. She would say yes when she means no, and no when she means yes. But one thing we all know is that she is not entirely merciless; she would sometimes offer the vaguest hint of what is to come through a wink, a subtle smile, or even through an inaudible whisper.
When she asked me about the cliff, she mouthed It’s time, or so I think. I can never be so sure whether I just hallucinated, or fell for her unnecessary tricks of vagueness. But with whatever it was that she did (or did not do), it caused a portion of my fears to be converted into light – a dim yet powerful one in this case. It illuminated a box of memories which was labelled Escapism. When I opened them under the faint light, all the stories of how I said no to the beautiful what-could-have-been’s flashed before my eyes. At that moment, I realized that it was Life’s way of saying that falling off that cliff is a journey I wouldn’t want to be stored together with all those missed chances.
Now, I am still falling deeper towards the uncertain.
And whether or not a terrifying unknown awaits to grapple me, I hold onto Life’s obscure hint:
It’s time, she said.